The second thing we ask for when he hear that someone’s delivered is the baby’s weight. Why, because it’ll give way to an endless conversation. Too small, no wonder the delivery was easy, too big, omg how was it a normal delivery?, thin, chubby and just about everything. I was that person too, until I had D. Like many new mom’s, I did a lot of research while I was pregnant and had enough information about breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, baby led weaning and weight gain. But people get to you no matter how right you are.
D was born at 2.77kgs and 47 cms. During my last scan the doctor had told me that he will weigh around that much and that we can expect him to make an appearance 15 days before EDD and she was bang on. He was exclusively breastfed for 6.5 months and gained weight rapidly till then. He was 7 kgs then. The paed told me at his 6th month vaccine that she would’ve called him obese if he wasn’t that tall. It felt good to hear that because not everyone who saw him thought so. Most visitors and even a few in the family thought he was too tiny for his age 😐. Some told me that I should give cow’s milk because breastmilk wasn’t enough for him. A few people who saw him for the first time at 6 months told me that he looks like a 3 month old and that he hasn’t grown much. The only person who stood rock solid by me was G. He kept telling that D looks just fine and that breastmilk is all he needs. I didn’t plan to introduce solids till he had ticked all the WHO guidelines but hey!, mom’s are not allowed to make that kind of a choice in our society. So he was given solids at 6 months when he was still not sitting unassisted and he didn’t show any interest in food. It didn’t go well (Duh!). Then the trouble was Blw. Except G and I, no one believed in it. . But D was getting good & I stuck to it for another month. At his next checkup, he hadn’t gained any weight and trouble began. The paed thought that BLW was a joke, my family was of 0 support and the spoon feeding thus began. Initially he didn’t like being fed but in a couple of days he was okay. He just had to open his mouth and ta-da! Food went straight down. No work needed. He was eating less (compared to the quantity the elders had in mind) but I was okay because he was nursing fine. Fast forward to 2 months later, he still was the same weight, but no one argued now 🤷♀️ because it’s fine as long as his stomach is filling up with the spoon feeding 🙄.
Those of you who think that babies grow only because of eating solids, please be assured that it’s false. To quote Carlos Gonzales, ‘BABIES EAT BECAUSE THEY GROW, THEY DONT GROW BECAUSE THEY EAT!’. His book, ‘my child won’t eat’ is a life saviour. I’d recommend every mom to read it. Whatever the age of your baby, please read it to save your child and yourself from difficult meal times. Doctors talk about weight in percentile nowadays and I don’t know why. All paed’s follow the same chart that was found ages ago and updated with time. How can a baby who was born at 2.77kgs weigh the same as a baby born at 3.5kgs at 6 months? Or, how can 2 babies born with the same weight weigh the same at 6 months if one is taller by 10cms? When Two Babies born with the same weight and height won’t weigh the same or stand at the same height at 20 years. How can all babies weigh according to a random chart then?
I am not at all saying that we shouldn’t follow the paediatrician’s instructions, but it’s important to be aware of how weight gain happens.. If your baby is active, has a 6+ pee count in 24 hours, reaches milestones and hasn’t been identified (medically) with any deficiency, you don’t have to worry about his/her weight. Babies gain weight rapidly till 6 months of age and then the weight gain slows. This is normal and is the way it is. When babies are breastfed exclusively, milk gets absorbed completely in some babies and they poop only once in 10 days. So when the absorption is good, weight gain will also be good. When solids are introduced, you will notice that initially or on most days, hand mashed food will come out as a whole in their poop. It’s normal but it also shows that the absorption is less, so less weight gain. If you think purées will do good then, Nope! The more liquid the food, the less nutritious it is. Solids are introduced at 6 months because the iron reserve is completely nil by then and iron has to be given in other forms. So giving iron rich food, introducing textures and family food is all to prepare babies for a lifetime of positive relationship with food. But we force and distract feed and teach our kids to mask their hunger cues and just eat whenever and wherever just like us. If our parents had trusted us as babies and had respected our hunger cues, we wouldn’t binge eat and have the need to go on diets to reduce weight. Weight gain slows down after 6 months of age but will almost stop after 1 year. They will gain 1 kg in a year even and it’s totally normal. Even if you give kids sugar loaded junk and health drinks, they will not gain weight today, but may become overweight in the future. This is because post 1 year, the fat starts to convert to muscle and babies tend to look leaner & It is a sign of growth. . But we fail to notice it and think that they’re losing weight. One problem with today’s grandparents is that they think their child (we) looked chubbier at the same age. What they fail to understand is that, we were not exclusively breastfed/formula fed for 6 months. We were given sugar laden processed baby food and biscuits as early as 6 months. G was fed 3 biscuits along with coffee at 7 months everyday and people wonder why D is not as chubby as G at 11 months.
There are days when babies will eat everything & ask for another serving but there will also be days (most) when they eat a spoon or two and worse they may not eat at all . On all the days the only thing we need to do is Trust Our Child. Teething, reaching a milestone, change in weather are a few reasons for drop or loss in appetite in babies. They will get back to normal once they’ve crossed the phase. Please nurse as much as possible during these times, not only is it easier but it’s also the best comfort food for babies when they’re going through changes. Force feeding solids during these times, will make them uncomfortable and stress you out. So again, please Trust your child.
It takes time to change the way we think because we’ve been hardwired this way but it’s all worth it at the end. I know kids who are fussy eaters and hate meal times at 10 years of age. I sure don’t want my child to grow up with that kind of a relationship with food. Self fed or spoon fed, a child should love food and know it’s importnace, that’s all that matters.
Part 2 of the weight gain series will be on the rules I follow with solids feeding and how I stay sane with all the unwanted advice.
D was born at 2.77kgs and 47 cms. During my last scan the doctor had told me that he will weigh around that much and that we can expect him to make an appearance 15 days before EDD and she was bang on. He was exclusively breastfed for 6.5 months and gained weight rapidly till then. He was 7 kgs then. The paed told me at his 6th month vaccine that she would’ve called him obese if he wasn’t that tall. It felt good to hear that because not everyone who saw him thought so. Most visitors and even a few in the family thought he was too tiny for his age 😐. Some told me that I should give cow’s milk because breastmilk wasn’t enough for him. A few people who saw him for the first time at 6 months told me that he looks like a 3 month old and that he hasn’t grown much. The only person who stood rock solid by me was G. He kept telling that D looks just fine and that breastmilk is all he needs. I didn’t plan to introduce solids till he had ticked all the WHO guidelines but hey!, mom’s are not allowed to make that kind of a choice in our society. So he was given solids at 6 months when he was still not sitting unassisted and he didn’t show any interest in food. It didn’t go well (Duh!). Then the trouble was Blw. Except G and I, no one believed in it. . But D was getting good & I stuck to it for another month. At his next checkup, he hadn’t gained any weight and trouble began. The paed thought that BLW was a joke, my family was of 0 support and the spoon feeding thus began. Initially he didn’t like being fed but in a couple of days he was okay. He just had to open his mouth and ta-da! Food went straight down. No work needed. He was eating less (compared to the quantity the elders had in mind) but I was okay because he was nursing fine. Fast forward to 2 months later, he still was the same weight, but no one argued now 🤷♀️ because it’s fine as long as his stomach is filling up with the spoon feeding 🙄.
Those of you who think that babies grow only because of eating solids, please be assured that it’s false. To quote Carlos Gonzales, ‘BABIES EAT BECAUSE THEY GROW, THEY DONT GROW BECAUSE THEY EAT!’. His book, ‘my child won’t eat’ is a life saviour. I’d recommend every mom to read it. Whatever the age of your baby, please read it to save your child and yourself from difficult meal times. Doctors talk about weight in percentile nowadays and I don’t know why. All paed’s follow the same chart that was found ages ago and updated with time. How can a baby who was born at 2.77kgs weigh the same as a baby born at 3.5kgs at 6 months? Or, how can 2 babies born with the same weight weigh the same at 6 months if one is taller by 10cms? When Two Babies born with the same weight and height won’t weigh the same or stand at the same height at 20 years. How can all babies weigh according to a random chart then?
I am not at all saying that we shouldn’t follow the paediatrician’s instructions, but it’s important to be aware of how weight gain happens.. If your baby is active, has a 6+ pee count in 24 hours, reaches milestones and hasn’t been identified (medically) with any deficiency, you don’t have to worry about his/her weight. Babies gain weight rapidly till 6 months of age and then the weight gain slows. This is normal and is the way it is. When babies are breastfed exclusively, milk gets absorbed completely in some babies and they poop only once in 10 days. So when the absorption is good, weight gain will also be good. When solids are introduced, you will notice that initially or on most days, hand mashed food will come out as a whole in their poop. It’s normal but it also shows that the absorption is less, so less weight gain. If you think purées will do good then, Nope! The more liquid the food, the less nutritious it is. Solids are introduced at 6 months because the iron reserve is completely nil by then and iron has to be given in other forms. So giving iron rich food, introducing textures and family food is all to prepare babies for a lifetime of positive relationship with food. But we force and distract feed and teach our kids to mask their hunger cues and just eat whenever and wherever just like us. If our parents had trusted us as babies and had respected our hunger cues, we wouldn’t binge eat and have the need to go on diets to reduce weight. Weight gain slows down after 6 months of age but will almost stop after 1 year. They will gain 1 kg in a year even and it’s totally normal. Even if you give kids sugar loaded junk and health drinks, they will not gain weight today, but may become overweight in the future. This is because post 1 year, the fat starts to convert to muscle and babies tend to look leaner & It is a sign of growth. . But we fail to notice it and think that they’re losing weight. One problem with today’s grandparents is that they think their child (we) looked chubbier at the same age. What they fail to understand is that, we were not exclusively breastfed/formula fed for 6 months. We were given sugar laden processed baby food and biscuits as early as 6 months. G was fed 3 biscuits along with coffee at 7 months everyday and people wonder why D is not as chubby as G at 11 months.
There are days when babies will eat everything & ask for another serving but there will also be days (most) when they eat a spoon or two and worse they may not eat at all . On all the days the only thing we need to do is Trust Our Child. Teething, reaching a milestone, change in weather are a few reasons for drop or loss in appetite in babies. They will get back to normal once they’ve crossed the phase. Please nurse as much as possible during these times, not only is it easier but it’s also the best comfort food for babies when they’re going through changes. Force feeding solids during these times, will make them uncomfortable and stress you out. So again, please Trust your child.
It takes time to change the way we think because we’ve been hardwired this way but it’s all worth it at the end. I know kids who are fussy eaters and hate meal times at 10 years of age. I sure don’t want my child to grow up with that kind of a relationship with food. Self fed or spoon fed, a child should love food and know it’s importnace, that’s all that matters.
Part 2 of the weight gain series will be on the rules I follow with solids feeding and how I stay sane with all the unwanted advice.
